Everything begins in the east, you know Now the Western — American — ways are consuming the world, but the sun will always rise in the east. Though I was willingly seduced by this vibrant Western world at such a very young age, the fact remains that my spirit was born in that place of beginnings.

The blood of emperors and silent women with bound feet runs through my veins as I walk these streets of New York. Ancient men in silk robes — silk robes the colors of night — have profoundly shaped my Western life. And I have...

Some of my first happy memories are of Grandfather, and Old Tutor, and I think it is best to begin with happiness. Of course, sadness is always intertwined with happiness, and it will find its own way.

I suppose I was six or seven years old when I met my beautiful grandfather; he had lived in Nanjing and we had not visited when I was young. Grandfather came into our home with those long, flowing sleeves of his dark blue robes. Sleeves full of treats which seemed to appear as though by magic. Grandfather came with smiles and kindness; he...

As a young child, I have few memories of my mother, as her days were spent either caring for my brother, or in her bedroom. Father was rarely home. When he did appear, it was clear that he had come to visit Kaihua. He wanted to be certain that his son knew his father.

Though theirs was an arranged marriage, Mother did, in fact, love my father. But my handsome father lived the traditional life of many Chinese men before him, including Mother’s own father. Concubines were a common part of our culture. It was most ordinary to refer to...

I have been promising to speak of Grandfather, and it is time. Grandfather’s words will help the rest of the words to come.

As I have said, I had not met my Grandfather as a young child. He remained in Nanjing after my mother married and moved to Shanghai. My grandmother had died when my mother, and her two brothers, were quite young. My grandfather had then taken two concubines and had fathered children with these ‘wives’ as well. So when he wrote that he would be arriving for a visit, along with his wives and children, there was much...

After Grandfather’s death, my mother’s grief was almost unbearable. That grief, in a heart already broken, forced my mother into a deep depression; she retreated to her bedroom. Of course, Father came to Grandfather’s funeral, but he did not come home to share our grief. Our home embraced its familiar, dark sadness.

Grandfather’s wives and children now looked to my mother as the head of the family, for she was the child of the First Wife, thus she was the next legitimate relative of my grandfather. But she was of little use to them, in her dark bedroom, and soon...

The streets of Shanghai were brimming with energy and activity. There were automobiles, rickshaws, bicycles — everyone seemed to be moving in a different direction at the same time. Shanghai was enamored with bright colors. Anything conveying energy. That which was subtle was so often overlooked, and unfamiliar, in the eyes of Shanghai.

Auntie Sheng and I spent our days making our way through the crowds and the shops, stopping whenever something caught our eye. Madame Sheng had an eye for fashion and beautiful things. She would point out to me, over and over, the beauty in the simplicity of...

Mother’s sadness continued to hover in our home like a black velvet cloak. The death of Grandfather, along with my father’s continued absence, made her long for the comfort of her family. My own sadness at the loss of Auntie Sheng in my life seemed to fit the mood of our home most comfortably.

The day arrived when Mother emerged from her bedroom and announced that we would be leaving our lovely home in the International Settlement. We would be moving to the Chinese City of Shanghai, to live with my mother’s cousins — Aunt Sha and her husband, Uncle...

With the rule of Dr Sun Yat-sen, there had been an uneasy alliance between the forces who aspired to control China. There were so many political players — the rightists, centrists, radicals, as well as the Communist Party. So when Dr Sun died in 1925, China exploded. There were chaos and assassinations; all parties scrambled for power. Yes, the death of Dr Sun had instigated the invasion of the Chinese City, by Warlord Sun Chuanfang, from which I barely escaped. I had escaped because my father was politically connected to Warlord Sun, who easily took control of Shanghai that spring....

In that spring of 1927, Chiang Kai-shek took control of Shanghai, the financial capital of China — one of the financial capitals of the world. His victory, with the support of the Green Gang, would be short-lived, as the Japanese would soon begin to drain his strength, leaving him vulnerable to the Communist forces. Still, there was a period of tenuous peace. In those few peaceful years, I was to be introduced to my father’s concubine, Beautiful Jade Wang.

“Zhaohua, please pack a bag. Your father will be here to pick you up soon. He would like you to visit...

My father’s concubine was rumored to be the most beautiful woman in Shanghai. Most people did not know that she was also one of the most intelligent. Jade spoke several languages. She was an intuitive and passionate artist. Jade Wang sprinkled her magic throughout Shanghai. And some of it fell on me.

Of course, every man who met Jade fell in love with her to some degree. I saw, for the first time, how loving a beautiful woman could turn powerful, strong men into a childlike presence of insecurity. Jade was always sincerely cheerful with my father. She was always...

From behind the curtain, I could hear voices and laughter as the guests poured into the grand hall and took their seats around the tables set in fine crystal and silver, on white linen tablecloths. Jade’s reputation as a performer had led to an invitation for us to perform at the wedding of the son of the Commissioner of Revenue; my first audience was to be comprised of the wealthiest and most influential leaders in Shanghai. I could feel butterflies in my stomach, and I remember that I imagined them to be in my knees and toes as well. My...

As my young life so beautifully unfolded in grand parties, stage performances, and the building of friendships, the Japanese decided it was time to take Shanghai.

In fact, the Japanese had been rapidly taking parts of China, with no resistance from our leader, Chiang Kai-shek. Chiang had chosen to concentrate China’s resources and defenses, which he now controlled, on the enemies within. He saw Communism as the greatest threat to his power and spent his armies and resources driving them further into the impoverished interiors of the vast country, where they simply enlisted the support of the peasants, the millions...

The following week, I returned to Father’s house. I began preparations to perform at the wedding of Liankui Ching’s oldest daughter. Perform my Kunqu opera piece — and perform as maid of honor to a young bride, whom I had never met.

“I know you are upset about missing school, Zhaohua. Don’t worry, you will be able to catch up on the work. I will help in any way I can.” Jade was the only one who understood my distress over my studies. She tried to console me as we assembled our new wardrobe for the trip.

“This is my...

It was another party at the Tan’s.

The house had been enchanting in the spring, but in the fall, the ‘House of Autumn Garden’ embraced its name. The hardwoods srrounding the home were vibrant in their fall color. There was a slight crispness in the air. An energy.

I saw him the minute he entered the room. We were in the English room — with fine lines and creamy linen fabric. I was speaking with Emily and Janet. And Colonel Zhang, Commander of the Chinese Air Force, arrived.

It seemed as though everyone had been awaiting his arrival. All heads...

Colonel Zhang spoke in his soft way as we drove our familiar roads. But his soft tone could not disguise the unfamiliar tension inside the car that day.

“I am concerned for you, Zhaohua. I think it is not safe to see you for a while. Someone has been following me. Chiang Kai-shek is very suspicious; it could be one of his men. Things are happening within the Nationalist party, Zhaohua. We are on the verge of, well, I should not speak of more. But I will have to be away for a while. In Guangzhou. I don’t know how...

To obey your father at home. To obey your husband in marriage. And to obey your son after the death of your husband. These were the three Confucian teachings of obedience for women. From the day we were born, the daughters of China were instructed to live obediently. To seek the four virtues of women: Fidelity, Physical Charm, Propriety in Speech, and Efficiency in Needlework.

Yes, I told Liankui Ching that I was carrying his child. He was elated as though he did not even see what the conception of that child had done to my life.

After hearing the...

War was a constant fact of life in China. Indeed, since 1929 there had not been a year when Chiang Kai-shek was not engaged in civil war.

Chiang remained adamant that the country’s resources be focused on fighting the Communists. His own party — the Nationalist party — remained divided as a result, and the Communists multiplied.

The anti-Chiang Kai-shek sentiment led to the formation of another party that struggled to control China. This third party was led by Soong Ching-ling, the widow of Dr Sun Yat-sen. Yes, she was the second sister of Madame Chiang Kai-shek. So Chiang was...

I went into shock when Tommy died. They said that Dr Ge had to pry my arms from my dead baby.

I could not speak or eat or function.

Liankui hired nurses to stay with me. I don’t remember those weeks. They are a blur of sheets and bodies, friends trying to be comforting — all I wanted to do was sleep.

The only clear memory came weeks later. It is a memory of hearing Judie and Anthony crying one day — the servants and Margaret and Alice were evidently busy — I heard them both crying from their bedroom....

The impending threat of war could be felt in the air that winter. The Japanese were coming, and we all knew it. To make matters worse, our leader, Chiang Kai-shek — unpopular though he was — was being held hostage by a faction of his own army. The Young Marshal, along with Communist leader, Zhou Enlai, were holding Chiang Kai-shek in an attempt to negotiate an alliance between Chiang and the Communists. Their ‘demands’ were that Chiang Kai-shek join forces with the Communists and actively resist the Japanese. Additionally, Zhang demanded the release of the Seven Gentlemen, who were still...

In September of 1939, war was declared in Europe.

There is always a profit to be made on war.

With that declaration, my husband’s many investments in gold bullion increased tenfold. He made hundreds of thousands of dollars. Of course, he reinvested all his profits in more gold. I pleaded with him to hold some out — it was just a matter of time before Japanese soldiers would come for Hong Kong. He did not listen.

Hong Kong’s currency was pegged to the English pound, and when the news of American support of the pound sterling reached Hong Kong, the...

The phone rang in the middle of the night, waking us from a sound sleep. It was Tanru.

“Liankui, the Japanese have bombed the Americans — Pearl Harbor. The Sino-Japanese War is now part of the global war between the Allies and Axis powers. Hong Kong will be the first target of the Japanese. Prepare for the worst, my friend. Gather any essentials, especially food — I’ll be in touch when I can.”

My body started trembling as soon as I heard the news and did not stop throughout the night. I had not dreamed that war would follow us...

China was exactly as the Japanese hoped it to be — divided. Under the Japanese occupation there were so many governments: Manchukuo, the North China government, the North Hebei government and the Nanjing government. Chinese leaders, m whom the people had trust and the comfort of familiarity, were placed in power. And these leaders took their orders from the Japanese government. They were puppets. The greatest fear of the Japanese was the unification of China, and they worked hard to keep the various parties pitted against one another.

Officially, Chiang and the Communists were united, and working from Chongqing to...

I returned to Shanghai inspired to embrace life. Despite my unhappy departure from Beijing, the physical rest of those four weeks in Qingdao had been tremendously uplifting, both physically and mentally. But then, the entire summer had been somewhat of a reprieve from sadness. I stepped off the train with an awareness of all that was positive in my life. True, Shanghai no longer resembled the bustling city in which I was raised, but ours was one of the few families who had not lost loved ones during the Japanese invasion. My family was so happy in our home next...

‘Paris Liberated ...’ ‘Athens Freed by Allies ...’ ‘USSR Agrees to Friendship Pact with China ...’ ‘Mussolini Killed at Lake Como ...’ ‘Hitler Commits Suicide ...’ ‘Berlin Falls ...’

This was the news that dominated the world. Of course, we heard none of these reports; news in China was tightly controlled, and if the Japanese caught families trying to tune into the BBC, they were executed on the spot. But the Japanese soldiers heard the reports, and with each headline, they became more desperate to annihilate the Chinese people.

And that was all we knew.

Officially, the two parties in...

“Zhaohua, the time has come to make some decisions,” Liankui spoke softly after he closed the doors to our tiny bedroom in the Yang home. I could tell by his tone that he was concerned. I nodded as I sat down on the bed, waiting to hear what my husband had to say.

“I have saved enough for us to move to our own home, Zhaohua. It is time for us to leave the Yangs. My practice is continuing to grow and Chiang Kai-shek insists that China will be unified. But still, Zhaohua, I cannot dismiss everything I hear about...

Hong Kong was chosen as surrogate homeland for thousands of Chinese. I suppose it held a sort of geographical comfort, this colony still, in part, attached to our homeland — within sight — yet displaced and nearly severed from our history. It seemed fitting for a people caught in limbo. We did not belong to the past, nor were we able to define our future. We were without a country of our own. We were not allied with the Communists, and we could no longer support Chiang Kai-shek in his version of ‘democracy’, as his followers re-established themselves on the...

I can still see Sandy, exactly as he was on that first day. Middleaged and not too tall for a North American. He wore a well-tailored suit and a patterned silk tie; I also recall the way he walked as he approached — long strides confident and sure — and yet his mind was obviously occupied. I can feel his hands as he took mine — a polite, yet warm, handshake. I can see the subtle, somewhat surprised smile in his lovely blue eyes as he introduced himself; he was obviously and immediately pleased with Susan’s cousin, though Sandy Smith...

Stamina is acquired only through endurance. As I passed my fortieth year, I privately noted that I had become a woman of immense stamina. It was not an arrogant realization; it was simply an honest self-assessment.

I eventually resumed my life with the strength that comes in the realization that I had endured almost any cruel blow fate could deal. True, I had not endured it without scars, and I had not always been willing to go on enduring it. Nonetheless, I was still there. I was still caring for my children and my demented husband; I was looking for...

My husband died in January of 1959. He was seventy years old. I was forty-three, I tried to let my eyes cry, but my body just went numb. Numb with grief — for this man whose life had become so intertwined with mine — and numb with grief for what had not been.

Margaret had moved in with us by the time her father died. It was my way of reimbursing her for the money I had lost, and her way of showing respect to her father. Margaret had cared much for him in those last months ; she remembered...

I left Sabah, now part of an independent Malaysia, and returned to Hong Kong, the closest place to home for myself and for so many Chinese. The city had been beautifully and aggressively rebuilt following the war and was readying itself to compete with Paris and New York. It was as though the energy of Shanghai, like so many of her people, had floated across the water and taken up residence in Hong Kong.

Without my children, Hong Kong felt alien to me. It bore no familiarity, nor comfort, nor association as home. Frank had gone to the United States...