In 1817 Cécile Pasteur wrote to a friend in Montreal that she had “fired” her lover because she did not love him. Her mother and her brother‚ who wanted to see the match succeed because the man was rich‚ had reproached her for doing so. “But I do not think like that‚” she added‚ “and I will never give my hand without giving my heart.”¹ Forty years later‚ Jane Price's wedding to a Mr Campbell was cancelled at the last minute when the groom backed out. Jane was understandably devastated. Her Aunt Caroline Hewlett‚ who was able to look at...

In 1844‚ when William Spalding of Perth‚ Upper Canada‚ married Isabella Smith only seven months after his wife died‚ he knew he might be subjected to community disapproval. The couple tried unsuccessfully to “slip home in the dark quietly avoiding a charivari. But in this they were mistaken ... horns‚ bells‚ and old pans were soon heard all over the town‚ making music anything but harmonious ... [Spalding] was glad to give them something to eat and drink‚ and three dollars besides‚ to get quit of them.”¹

The first entry in the chronicle of events for the year 1833 kept...

Nineteenth-century couples referred to “going into housekeeping” when they planned to set up and maintain their own household. Housekeeping in this period meant the tasks required for the support of the family rather than just those required for maintaining the home. “This was a project in which both cash-earning and cash-saving activities were important.”¹ It was therefore something which couples entered into together, not the sole responsibility of the wife. It required a reliable income, usually provided by the husband's work. Although for the middle classes this work was increasingly done outside the home, many artisans, farmers, and even professionals...

John Moodie was only away briefly when Susanna wrote to her sister Catherine:

Time lengthens into ages while he is away. Will age never diminish my love for this man ... No one can accuse me of being fickle to those I love - for he is dear to me after five and twenty years of intercourse as he was when we first met. The kind darling sent me a beautiful gold locket and chain containing a capital likeness of himself. You would laugh to see me regarding that white bearded face with the devotion of old times. The old...

When Ella Papineau was born, her father was overjoyed as well as relieved that his wife’s long, hard labour had ended without mishap. He expressed his wonder at the arrival of his first child, “this new mysterious and sacred link between Mary and me, this new us, this new trinity.”¹ His perspective on the birth of his child followed naturally from the companionate nature of his marriage and the love he had for his wife. Although few diarists were as eloquent about their emotions as Amédée Papineau, the expression of affection for their children was virtually universal.

Historians agree that...

The birth of a child was a key moment in every family’s history. The event was entered in diaries and mentioned in letters to parents, kin, and friends. Pregnancy did not leave as many records. While a few correspondents spoke very openly on the subject, others failed to mention it at all. Reine Duvernay, for example, was silent on the subject of her pregnancy in letters to her husband. This could have been because of a reticence to speak of such matters, but it could also be that pregnancy was considered such a normal state for a married woman of...

When Robert Hoyle was away from home, his thoughts often turned to his children. His frequent comments in his letters to his wife, Eliza, on how they should be treated and how they should behave illustrate well the attitudes towards childhood that had become prevalent in the early nineteenth century. As parents searched for alternatives to corporal punishment to instil discipline, they turned to methods such as the withdrawal of affection. Robert Hoyle subscribed to the latter method totally. When his daughter Sarah Ruth was an infant, he offered her unconditional love and affection, sending her a kiss in every...

Children in every era are prone to minor accidents, bumps and bruises, and diseases. In the early nineteenth century, however, the defences against childhood illnesses such as diphtheria, whooping cough, polio, and scarlet fever were much less effective than they are now. At times disease seemed to run rampant through an area, for reasons that were not clear. The mortality rates for children under sixteen therefore remained high, although it was much lower than infant mortality.¹ This was also the period when Canada was first devastated by cholera and typhus epidemics, especially those of 1832, 1834, 1847, and 1854. The...

Childhood for most children in the early nineteenth century ended when they began to work and take on adult responsibilities, often while still very young. Only for the middle class was early childhood followed by an extended period of dependence we now call adolescence. This new phase was associated with the middle class's desire for a better education. In the early nineteenth century children might leave home at a very early age to go into service or to board out as apprentices. As the century progressed, however, more children stayed home longer, even after they began to work. Because of...

On 17 March 1855 Eliza Bellamy wrote in her diary:

[F]ine morning now storm Rhoda went home this morning with Luther I shall miss her company, yesterday a host of visiters Mrs. Chalmers and Son with Miss Hulbert and J Blanchard, to dinner, afternoon Isaiah, Eliza and Emily Dr. Scofield, wife, and Mrs Hummel Isaiah did not stop to tea ... this afternoon, went to Walkers with Mrs. Chambers staid to tea home with J. and Margrett. Sabbath, did not go to church, Father and I went to Isaiah’, they had been to Prescott with the Doctor saw Maryan, took...

In the eighteenth century and earlier, celebration of traditional holidays including Christmas were communal affairs that involved drinking and other forms of rowdy behaviour. In the Victorian era, middle-class celebrations of holidays became private occasions that focused on the family. Elizabeth Pleck, who has examined the history of American Thanksgiving, refers to these celebrations as “domestic occasions,” defined as ”a family gathering held in the home which paid homage to the ideal of the 'affectionate family.’ ”¹ This gathering of kin to celebrate events such as birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays usually extended beyond the nuclear family. John Gillis has suggested...

The extent to which families in the nineteenth century socialized with neighbours, friends, and kin is startling at first view. Whether urban or rural, their homes were the site of constant coming and going. Although the elite followed formal rules of calling etiquette, less formal visits between kin also took place. Extended visits were not unusual and could range from a few weeks to several months. As well, families and groups of friends entertained and joined each other to attend community events. Although much of this rich social life appears to have been focused on leisure activities, it was through...

Reciprocal relations between neighbours were extremely important in pre-industrial societies. On the frontier they were crucial for survival. In times of family crisis, the presence of such a safety net took on much greater significance, but it operated at all times in both urban and rural society.¹ Although these relations might be expected to be reciprocal in the long term, in times of trouble a family would end up being primarily on the receiving end. Although one might prefer to accept such help from kin, sometimes this was not possible, and it was neighbours who stepped in to assist. In...

The case of Denis Bruneau illustrates well the significance of correspondence to kinship links. This young man left his family for the United States after a love affair gone sour and a duel at the age of twenty-two. Not hearing from him, his family presumed him dead. He, on the other hand, had written several letters to them and never received a reply. He therefore assumed that he was forgotten and that his family wanted nothing to do with him, and tried to forget them. It was not until twenty years later when he finally decided to visit his family...